Protected: Marriage

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Trifecta of unattainable perfection

Protected: 녹는다 ㅠㅠ

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I’ve been owned.

So the neuroses are more or less under control, but they still pop up and bother me every so often.

But how is it that he can dissipate all the neuroses and the unpleasant feelings that come with it, in just two simple words?

He said it, and I clean forgot about what I was being neurotic about.

And I think he knows how to disperse the neuroses too.

Which is why he has been successful the past couple of times he’s done it.

Omg.

I’ve been owned.

I’VE BEEN P4WN3D!

(ㅠ_ㅠ)

잊지 말아요

박지영의 “잊지 말아요”를 듣고 있었는데 갑자기 한국의 모두를 그립다.

그리워 죽겠어.

정말 잘 자야겠다.

수면이 부족했나봐…

지친다 진짜 ㅠㅠ

Loved

I feel so very, very loved =)

Getting chided by the Police woman last night

Being reasoned with by the Bvlgari Blue

Coming to work to Korean strawberry milk from my Manduu…

Argh! So happy I can’t express it in words!

정말 행복해 죽겠단말이야 (^_^)

Considerations

I am beginning to have thoughts of running away…

Why do I keep saying no to his Question? (in response, he said that ours will then be the most unique relationship in the world; one where the guy has a gf, but the girl doesn’t have a bf)

Because I haven’t decided if this is something I really want to put my trust in yet.

Not because I don’t like him enough.
But because I don’t wanna get hurt again.

Just the thought of feeling disappointed and hurt again, really chills me to the bones and makes my heart shrivel in exhaustion.

I don’t wanna ever feel that way again, but at what cost right? Am I going to keep running away and depriving myself at those shots of, maybe, Happiness?

Sounds silly right? But I’m kinda reluctant to put my trust in this; the distance is really beginning to look like the mother of all obstacles and I don’t wanna be sinking head first into eventual heartbreak.

Not only cos I miss him, but because it gets frustrating that I miss him and I cannot do anything about it as and when I do.

When he goes out, we can’t skype and that’s the end of our alternatives to ‘hanging out’.

But I think I shouldn’t mention any of this to him, cos the last time I told him I kinda regret starting anything I think he felt a little hurt and told me sincerely that even though it’s tough being away from me, he doesn’t regret anything.

How to not like him, you tell me! ㅠㅠ

Thoughtless

On two occasions, already, he has pointed out to me how thoughtless I can be.

Not accusingly, but just by explaining it from the other point of view.

I’d never thought of myself as a thoughtless person… I’d always prided myself on thinking from every possible angle.

It is a very humbling experience.

And I wish the ex would’ve thought to do it too, so that I could’ve reflected on myself earlier.

Musings.

This is harder than I thought it’d be.

And I’m tempted to run away before I’m in too deep.

Or is it already too late?

(ㅠ.ㅠ)

I now remember why I hate this.

Because it makes you care more than you usually would for any other person.

Which translates into heart-tugging, almost-torturous moments of waiting.

And of course, the longing.

Oh, this cursed feeling of longing.

I have not missed you at all.

(Yes, I do catch the irony of this statement)

30% of the time, I wish I’d kept my heart guarded and left it alone. I don’t enjoy this feeling, not one bit.

Note: I’m sick, so please factor in some of that into this emo angst. Hah!